Monday, 20 January 2014

Inspiration, optimism, and creativity

Hello to all my lovely followers and anyone reading this Blog.

Firstly i want to say that i lost my beloved Border Collie "Beccles" on the 9th January 2014 aged 17 years old.
She was a trooper in every way, and i miss her tremendously, but saying that she had a good happy life and was much loved. I still have 2 dogs so it helped that i still had the companionship that i enjoy.

Also my eldest Daughter Natalie is getting married to her partner Andy on the 21st September this year....excited is an understatement.....i am doing her invitations (Hopefully if i can get my act together)
she is having a shabby chic/rustic wedding theme, my favourite!!!

Well 2013 was certainly a real challenge for me and my family, we were confronted with everyones worst nightmare (Cancer) but happily we have got through it and the outlook is bright once again.
I am currently overcoming Drug dependency and again it is going well and i am hoping to be drug free by the end of February.
for anyone who is not sure how this happens here is a brief outline...
After my major surgery (Left Lung removal) I was put on really strong and addictive pain medication (Morphine) which was only supposed to be for 4 weeks, then my doctor should have tapered it down so i got less of it and more regular pain killers like Paracetamol.
unfortunately my doctors didn't do this and my dosage remained the same for 4 months.
finally a doctor decided that i didn't need the medication anymore and instead took me off the morphine. I experienced the worst week of my life, cold sweats, shakes, the endless dark tunnel, crying, insomnia, and the darkest thoughts i have ever had, which seemed so real at the time i thought they were really happening.
after many phone calls and emails, it was finally revealed that i was suffering from drug withdrawal symptoms, and i had to get back on the morphine immediately. THE DOCTOR SHOULD NOT HAVE TAKEN ME OFF SUCH A POWERFUL DRUG COLD TURKEY WITHOUT TAPERING OFF.
that is what i was suffering from, Cold turkey withdrawal.......Ahhhhhhhh! i had no idea this was happening to me....
anyway long story short, i am now doing really well coming off my drugs, and i am happy to say life is getting better every day.
I am on a good drug detox and see the same doctor twice a week, which is essential as seeing different doctors was part of the problem.
my concentration is not at its best, but it is getting better by the week, i am in some pain, but i would rather have a bit of pain than ever go on those druga again.
I am having some fab sessions with macmillan including a relaxing massage and healing therapy, and physiotherapy at my local sports center, i walk with my dogs for miles almost every, day all of which is helping me to get better mentally and physically.

I am hoping to get cracking with some crafting very soon, i do try, but my concentration is not that good at the moment, i start doing stuff and before i know it i have my hat and coat on, and i am off with the dogs somewhere....i still don't know how i manage to do it.
anyway, i hope i have not bored anyone with all this medical stuff, but i found that reading about other people who have suffered from drug dependency really helped me to understand what was happening to me and why, but more importantly how to deal with it and make sure i got the right help to get me off the drugs.
this post is not intended or meant to be doomy and gloomy, i hope it was a source of inspiration to anyone who has suffered similar problems with drugs or addiction to anything, so i would like to think it is a short story to inspire you.

I was looking at a blog today and i was so inspired by the lovely hand made bits and bobs i cannot wait to get started on a project.... something, anything that i can start and finish will be great, even if the end product is rubbish.
i hope that my next post will bring even better news and hopefully something that i have made....YIPPEE!!
a belated Happy New Year to everyone......
from a very excited and optimistic me x